You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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