The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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