my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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