Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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