Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
