he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
