i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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