erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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