so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just cut my nipple shaving
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
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There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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