Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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