I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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