It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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