I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize