You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
