i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
