He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
how does that bad decision feel?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
