just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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