Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We are two peas in an std pod
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
