he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
