Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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