If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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