Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I need a beard to bite.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize