I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Im part way to drunk.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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