The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
