haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
