I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
