I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize