Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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