Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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