No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
