This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
