Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
