I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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