Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
