With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize