did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
