How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize