It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
