sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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