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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  could be more

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  absolutely not

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i have a food baby... i think its a boy...

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.

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• (650): View more from California

  they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night

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• (716): View more from New York

  We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.

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• (562): View more from California

  I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today

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