Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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