I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
