my mouth tastes like poor choices
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
