He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
