I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
