at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
