i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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