Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
