Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
