Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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