There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
