im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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