"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
