Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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