At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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