so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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