I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
