If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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