Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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