I bet he comes in French.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
