So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
